When you think about divorce, chances are images of two angry and emotional people going at each other's throats come to mind. And while it is true that many couples deal with unpleasant divorces, it doesn’t have to be like that.
Indeed, divorce can be one of the most stressful and painful experiences a person will ever go through, amplified if kids are involved, but with the right mindset and proper approach, you'll realize that putting love above everything else can be paramount to ensuring that everyone involved walks away as unscathed as possible.
Here are some things to keep in mind as you put in place a strategy for divorce.
Respect Is Important
Many view a peaceful divorce as mythical, but the truth is that you and your partner can go your separate ways amicably. The key is maintaining mutual respect. Let your partner know that you respect them as an individual, even if you are unhappy with the current situation. Furthermore, try not to play the blame game. It takes two to tango, so being able to take accountability and admit that a failed marriage falls on each partner's shoulders can go a long way.
Think Of Your Kids
Children, especially young children, are perhaps the most vulnerable when it comes to divorce. Any divorce can be hard on kids, but a nasty divorce in particular can have a lasting negative impact on your kids’ emotional and psychological wellbeing. However, if you choose the mutual respect route, the process will be easier on your children. They will likely still be upset, but the positive example of an amicable separation will have a more lasting impact than the sadness they feel in the thick of the divorce.
Get Your Finances In Order
Between dividing up assets and paying for lawyers, finances are a primary area of focus during a divorce. It's critical to stay on top of your personal financial situation and plan ahead as much as possible to ensure you are prepared.
- Seek professional advice - The first thing you should do is seek a professional financial advisor. Remember that the financial complexities of divorce can be overwhelming, even for those who are money-savvy. An advisor can help you stay organized and ensure that you are taking the proper precautions and the right steps forward.
- Take stock of your assets - Think of the money you have in hand, in savings, and tied up in equity. Consider any shared real estate. Take note of any loans or debts you have, as well as pending bills you need to settle. These are all things that will need to be addressed as you divvy up assets and financial responsibility.
and LPL Financial do not provide legal advice or tax services. Please consult your legal advisor or tax advisor regarding your specific situation.
- Be ready to sacrifice - Who gets the house? Who gets the dog? Who gets your wedding day china? Chances are you won't get to keep everything you want, and you need to be okay with that. When you go into a divorce, try and mentally prepare for the sacrifices you will have to make. It can be helpful to prioritize the things that are most important to you, however, try to be fair and remember that your partner is also making sacrifices.
- Agree to work with each other rather than against each other - Instead of being antagonistic, try and work together with your spouse. Obviously it's easier said than done, but channeling the love that once was throughout the divorce process will help to create less friction, ultimately eliminating some of the stress and strain on you both. Furthermore, the more amicable a divorce, the less money you both are likely to spend on legal fees, which can add up quickly.
A Win-Win Is Possible
While it can be challenging to focus on the positives during a divorce, try to remember that you married for a reason. You may have grown apart, made choices that your spouse disagreed with, or found that your priorities no longer were in alignment, but at the core of your relationship was once love. Although the love may have faded, don't let it fade into bitterness or resentment. Instead, try to view your partner with empathy, respect, and kindness as you divide your once shared life into two and go your separate ways.
For over 20 years, we at Triada Advisors have helped our clients to achieve total financial wellness. While you may be at a point of uncertainty on your life's path, our disciplined financial planning can provide the expertise and guidance you need to move forward with confidence. Reach out to schedule a meeting.
Triada Advisors and LPL Financial do not provide legal advice or tax services. Please consult your legal advisor or tax advisor regarding your specific situation.